he thought i was a dude.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In other news, I just burned my penis
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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