i'm lost and i look like a hooker
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize