What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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