For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
ttyl tear gas
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
