i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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