Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
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using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
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It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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