So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
