his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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