kristin has been a bad kristin
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The power of my boobs compel you
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
