I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
where am i from again
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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