i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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