he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
