I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
