definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
