Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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