I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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