next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
