onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
