Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
