i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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