Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma

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(862): View more from New Jersey

dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off

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(509): View more from Washington

He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.

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