please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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