The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
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