I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
