dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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