saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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