I hope mine doesn't look like that
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
