Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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