We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
