Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's rum buckets o'clock
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
