Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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