I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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