I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
