the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
