i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
