so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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