she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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