I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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