Will you blow on my dice?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
