You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
