Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
