I must be too annoying 4 u.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
