just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
