as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
