my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
