Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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