I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
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i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
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He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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