the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
