She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
