my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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