Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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