In the future we'll all be gay
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
