You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
