Ketchup is God's man juice
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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