I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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