So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
