I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
