Your face is a jimmy john
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
