i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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