Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
