no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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